ROVworld Subsea Information

Deep Trekker Micro ROV Remotely Operated Vehicle
ROVworld Subsea Information: Forums

View next topic
View previous topic
Quote
Whenever a TV programme about an American rig comes on, they're never wearing the PPE that I haveto. Is it jeans and T-shirts in the GOM? With the only PPE required being shoes, hats, glasses and gloves?

If so, why?
Quote
There not big on safety glasses and for what ever reason most do not wear coveralls....so you can imagine the galley and accommodations!
Quote
Now this particular topic , I can get my teeth into Very Happy
I also watched a bit of ( By mistake a few minutes before it nearly made me Vomit ) An American TV Offshore programme called Oil , Sweat and something Confused
Not only do these hard nuts without proper PPE Run a whole God Damm Rig............ "Ohhh , what fine specimens we are in these restricting boys tee shirts of human kind" ! But they managed to put a hole opener down to 2000m water depth on to an abandoned wellhead without the use of guide wires Shocked
While This was happening , a crack team of welders were putting fish plates in the legs to strengthen them for some new Storm Anchors within 10 days !
Most people would agree that these welding jobs of this magnitude is done in Dock !
But not these tough cookies Cool They had a deadline to catch !
Of course Smile They were men Shocked ..... Money , Money , Money Cool Profit , Profit , Profit ! Safety............................. Not Rolling Eyes
What utter CRAP some people try to feed us !
I did not see it myself , but I went onto the Vessel afterwards , about a certain DSV called the Seawell last year ,
From what I heard from the guys on board , the BBC or whoever made the programme put together some fine amusing Bullshit how ......The Divers "Saves EARTH " Confused
They seemed to have forgotten all the other personnel on board from Deckies , Riggers, ROV pilots ( and thier ROV's) LST's and practically all the other functionaries that play key mechanisims on board Shocked
From all the Shite I have heard and the programmes I have seen on TV about 'Gung-Ho's' in GOM Shocked
I think I will stay away from there Confused
What attitudes , What Charisma , What herioc Goddamme actions Shocked
NOT Laughing
Put ya brain in gear before ye open thy gob !
Quote
Reminds me of a story in the Darwin Awards
"Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So here's what we do to keep warm: We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a damn good plan, doesn't it? I've used it several times with no complaints.
When I get to the bottom and start working, what I do is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck and flood my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my itchy ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened. The hot-water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. This is even worse than poison ivy under a cast. I had put that hose down my back, but I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communications system. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he and 5 other divers were laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 hellish in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface for my chamber dry decompression. I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board, the medic, with tears of laughter streaming down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to coat my ass when I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my asshole was swollen shut.
We've since modified the equipment to filter out most sea creatures.

Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to squash a jellyfish on your ass. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you do, I hope this will make it more tolerable."

Only happen to a Diver Laughing
Quote
flycatcher,

I am sorry about "your bad day at the office", but thanks for sharing! I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while Laughing !!! So, I'm gonna share a "bad day at the office" story with you:

I and a mate were in my office on the Liuhua 11-1 Project in China back in 1999. A new hire got lost on the rig after his orientation and ended up in the "Chinese Communal Bath, Shower and Brothel." Yep, he witnessed an unnatural act between 2 guys in the shower and managed to race his way into my office, panicked and out of breath.

After listening to his detailed account of his horrific experience, my crazy mate (Danish [banned word]) gave me a "wink and a limp wrist wave". Yep we were on Twisted Evil . Long story short, we asked this new ROV guy if he hadn't "BEEN TOLD!" Told that this is a "GAY RIG" of course; as my crazy mate pinched his bum from behind, blew into his ear and whispered, "YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT HONEY???!!!" Cool

Poor guy screamed, ran out of my office in tears; with certainity of receiving a good rig-wide gang bang and locked himself into his room Laughing . It took over 3 hours to convince this poor Kiwi that he had not landed in the ancient city of Sodom Shocked and that night was rapidly closing in on him Shocked Shocked Shocked ...LOL!!!

So always remember, there is ALWAYS someone out there having a "bad day at the office" and suffering just so other offshore @$$es can have a better day and a good laugh at your expense.


Last edited by Oldschool on 04:23 Wed 04 Jun 08; edited 1 time in total
Quote
GOM PPE posts are normal shite since I came in the industry in 1995. Those "old guys" in here that know me, know that I have spent the MAJORITY of my career outside the GOM because of this very mentality. The offshore HUET, medicals and survival courses here are total jokes, no firefighting courses and all safety courses designed for room temperature IQ types that "Cowboy-up" to total stupidity!
Quote
flycatcher
that business with the jellyfish use to happen to us diving in Middle East along with stone fish and urchins....all part of the job...thanks for the memories.

Getting back to the topic......you should see the yanks struggle with a JSA or better explain it to the troops....now theres some entertainment.
Quote
HMMN

Could it be that a fly has snared the spider here, or maybe you have forgotten one of your alias's and begun talking to your self? if its bait, you should nibble on it first not swallow the whole hook.

if it's any consolation it has me guessing too. i initially thought it was you ,posting with the usual little bit of diversionary smoke.

no?........hmmn how about ron?
or scot bev?..no , he would post as himself..
or Paul ? (can't think of his surname)

It's a great story anyway. Reminds me of the time Dazza told the trainee not to eat too much as you had to settle the bill with the camp boss at the end of the trip. I had to let the guy in on the joke after 3 or 4 days as he wasn't getting enough energy to do his share of the work
Quote
Seadogg,

Trainee reps can be fun as well... India: " Eekxcooze me sah, why is the platform moving up & down and up & down sah?" "Well, Mr. Roti, there are hydraulic lifts with pitch and roll sensors on each one for the sole purpose of having a level and stable platform because the platform hands were complaining that their snooker games were being affected"....

Lost,

Reminds me of a Discovery program on in the early 90's. They had an OI diving (GOM) supv spouting off the grandoise virtues of the ruffy-tuffies and how ROV's couldn't do 20% of the work that divers do. And yes, guess what he was wearing.... Bibs... Hmmmmm..... No sea too rough, no muff too tough.... Bet Johnny Huff ended up saying something to that drongo.

Old skool,

Looks like Sonslug's got there sights on you!
I got your economic downturn right here!!!
Quote
Hummmm...Liuhua 11-1 FPS NHTZ in late 90s

Could I be:

Sam from Taz.... Rolling Eyes
Nigel from UK.... Rolling Eyes
Les from Oz.... Rolling Eyes
Philipp from London.... Rolling Eyes
Stew from PI.... Rolling Eyes
Hendrik from PI.... Rolling Eyes
Jay from PI.... Rolling Eyes
Darryl from UK... Rolling Eyes
Ron from Sing... Rolling Eyes
Scott from Thai... Rolling Eyes
Greg from Houston... Rolling Eyes
Bebe's from Houston... Rolling Eyes
Ian from UK... Rolling Eyes
Nathan the GAY Kiwi... Shocked

Nah! Laughing
Quote
Last I knew Jay Cook was still in Angeles City flying microlites/ LBFMs Wink and talking about retiring in OZ.
Rigwash does not "make it clear-up faster"
Quote
For all you ole blokes out there reminiscing about Lui Hua L11-1 FPS. Starting in late July it is about to have the 3 flowline risers from the FPS manifold to the FPSO buoy to the replaced as a SuperTyphoon took them out a few years ago. The damaged ones were temporarily replaced but are now being 100% replaced. Acergy are laying the new ones, and I believe a Sonsub DFCS is being mobbed to perform the tie-ins. So there will be a bit of work if you want to go back for a look see.
Quote
Back to the original thread GOM PPE.

You need full PPE so that you don't get covered in the Sh**e that flows so elequently from there mouths! Laughing
Quote
Oldschool wrote:
Hummmm...Liuhua 11-1 FPS NHTZ in late 90s

Could I be:

Sam from Taz.... Rolling Eyes
Nigel from UK.... Rolling Eyes
Les from Oz.... Rolling Eyes
Philipp from London.... Rolling Eyes
Stew from PI.... Rolling Eyes
Hendrik from PI.... Rolling Eyes
Jay from PI.... Rolling Eyes
Darryl from UK... Rolling Eyes
Ron from Sing... Rolling Eyes
Scott from Thai... Rolling Eyes
Greg from Houston... Rolling Eyes
Bebe's from Houston... Rolling Eyes
Ian from UK... Rolling Eyes
Nathan the GAY Kiwi... Shocked

Nah! Laughing


Or

Graeme from Jockland

Dave from Aus

Ray from Kiwi

Stan from Aus

Chris from Kiwi

Tony M from Aus

or maybe Reece and his Da' Rolling Eyes

As for doing the DFCS again ... Nooooooooooooooooooo Laughing
Quote
The Topic is GOM PPE?... can we please stick to it or start another thread if you wish to discuss another subject.
James Mc
Site Admin
www.rovworld.com

Shocked Search First - Ask questions later Thumb Up

Display posts from previous:

Goto page 1, 2  Next





View next topic
View previous topic
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You can attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum